You: dark haired dream girl at the end of the lane. Me: slightly aloof male scanning the isles for hamburger patties
No that doesn’t work.
You: girl sitting at the library wearing a red hoodie, watching “True Life” clips on youtube. Me: guy in a Catbug T-shirt reading Foucault’s “Discipline and Punish”. I think you were really cute and hope that you see this message…
You: girl jogging across campus in a black sports bra and USC Trojans shorts Me: Fat guy on a fixed-gear bicycle wearing a University of Texas shirt Despite your questionable taste in despicable football teams, I must say that I was momentarily transfixed by your beauty, right before I crashed into a parked car…
Nope. Not at all.
You: girl on the bus loudly listening to mumford & sons Me: guy sitting across from you wearing an Arcade Fire shirt, sulking and staring Seriously. What. The. Fuck.
God damn it.
You: woman with a penchant for making bad decisions
Me: man with a chip on his shoulder.
…that could work…